Boy OH Boy

Boy OH 2 BOYS

Yes, you understood me correctly…..

Our family is growing by One.

Come the beginning of September we are expecting another BOY!

(Calculation: Theodore’s Birthday is August 8th baby is due September… Soooo 13 months apart… If he doesn’t show up early!!….eeek)

We are completely overjoyed and well a little overwhelmed. 6 1/2 months pregnant and way more than halfway through…..we are getting to the finish line and are still a little under prepared.

Why have we kept our surprise a surprise?

Well….to say the least we/I needed time.

We have always known Theodore would not be our only child but we still needed to process.

We needed time to understand and discover Theodore’s diagnosis and I needed time to relinquish fear. I kept setting milestones on what results I wanted before we announced we were having another child. However, no scan, test, or conversation could put my fear at ease.

Although, everything looks great with our little one and he is growing well, I believe I will be worried until this gift of ours is born ( standard for most moms expecting).

We are not any less excited about this baby than we were Theodore, but the feeling is different. I do not know if this feeling I have is because it is the second child and we literally do not have any time to prepare…….. OR if this feeling stems from fear of having another close in age to a child who has…….a lot of baggage.

Nonetheless, we announced the pregnancy to our family in the beginning, and we were weary about what their responses would be, we anticipated the worst.

…HOWEVER, they were excited…OVERJOYED to say the least.

When we saw this light in all of their eyes we knew that this second baby was yet, another blessing.

I still have fear that our second could have a rare chromosome deletion, but I have to release the fear and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. I need to keep telling myself that each of our children are perfect gifts and know, even though I am not in control there has to be some type of plan.

Do we know having two babies 13 months apart will be a struggle?…….

YES, we are very aware!!!

Does having two babies that are basically immobile sound fun?……..

No, but we will do our best!

Do we know these boys will be our greatest joy and our biggest challenge?…….

YES

AND…….. we know this baby will be a gift not only to us but to Theodore. We know that he will push Theodore to his fullest. As we watch Theodore with his two nieces and in therapy, we see his drive to do more and know this will continue with his little brother. We see him grow everyday AND having another person on his team sounds ideal.

These boys will be our biggest treasure and we will love them equally. I pray they have the relationship and friendship that I have with my older sister and two younger brothers. This does not go without saying there will be moments of fighting and anger, but they will learn in their time how to apologize and make up. I hope they are each others NUMBER ONE advocates and each others hardest competition.

For now, less than three months out…I will, Report to Duty, in setting my mind at ease for our second child and I will embrace the journey. Nonetheless, we will be working tirelessly to be getting ready for baby NUMBER TWO. Since they are ALMOST Irish twins…we are preparing our lives…Yes, we pretty much have to have two of everything…and a double stroller. So on to the next adventure!!!!

Until Next Time,

Reporting to Duty

xox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Love

Yesterday, marked our two year anniversary. I sit here and reminisce on the perfect, exciting, one of a kind day we had two years ago in the Grand Cayman Islands. It was a perfect affair and we had the most spectacular guests.

However, today seems like light years away from that day, and it also seems like it was yesterday.

It was perfect. But even now we are different then we were just TWO years ago.

We have learned a lot in our years together…we have learned how to be lovers, a couple and partners.

It often seems like we have been married for a while because we have been friends for 12 years, and we have now  dated for 9 years. Yes, I am still counting dating years because I believe it is important to “date” your spouse. Dating may now include Theodore, but we make it special.

Also, during these two years we have been on a roller coaster. We have moved to a new town/state, moved homes twice, I became pregnant, lost loved ones, had our son (Theodore) and we have been traveling back and forth from stat to state in order to find answers about Theodore.

As a couple we have had our challenges and this last (almost year) has been one of our challenges. It has been interesting keeping up with Theodore and keeping up with our relationship. Sometimes I felt defeated and over my head. I know that at times I didn’t give enough…

BUT when this happened I know Keith gave more.

When Theodore was first born it was a struggle. Although I have been around children for years I couldn’t manage our unique situation. I visited the doctor several times and they never gave me answers. They continued to tell me everything was OK and I had to communicate all this back to my husband. Sometimes it caused arguments even though we were on the same side…

Then we never had “us” time. Being hundreds of miles away from our families and friends forced us to be lone rangers….and it wasn’t always easy.

We were never able to go to the grocery, bathroom, shower, movies, our to dinner, or even take a nap without one of us being on duty. In the beginning I envied those that could get any help, but I knew because of our choices I had to suck it up and move on….

Now I am thankful that we were partners and were thrown in over our heads. Sometimes it did cause Keith and I to have “stupid” arguments, but with a bit of sleep and our senses we made it through. No…. I still have not been to the movies, had a night without Theodore, or been many places without him BUT I take full responsibility and know this is OUR duty.

Theodore often throws us surprises, but because it was just US for quite some time, we work GREAT as a team.

Being miles and miles away from each other the last few months has been hard. People often ask us where our spouse it, in fear we have split. HOWEVER, it is the opposite, we have decided to be a part from each other because we are a strong couple. We understand what is best and we attack the challenge.

Because of this choice…… we have had answers, real ANSWERS and this we have prayed and yearned for quite some time. These answers have given us a finish line for our distant (in miles) relationship and showed us the benefits of our struggles. We are grateful!

Sooo… as I think back on the two years I see how we have grown IMMENSELY….

and know that in the future we don’t have to be scared of the unknown. This makes me happy when I think about how we will build our relationship over our lifetime.

I am so thankful I get to do life with such a strong and brave man.

Our relationship is unique, but it is ours. I never expect anyone to understand our relationship and I hope no one ever judges. I believe that all relationships have their secrets and often we do not know the full story. I know and understand that no love story is perfect……BUT

I know our story and I know it is special.

I will Report to Duty, in respecting and protecting the love I have. I will make time to enjoy our special and unique bond. I will love more today than I did yesterday. I will love in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Until next time,

Reporting to Duty

xox

 

My People

Being a mom is hard work, NO…let me rephrase….being a PERSON is hard work!

Before I was a mom I chose my friends wisely and many of those friendships are still dear to my heart.

Some, I tried my best to be the best type of friend I could be. Honest, trustworthy and loving. However, there were many times that I was too honest, too trusting and way too loving. In these cases I learned how to work it out, or moved on knowing the relationship would get me nowhere or become toxic.

Needless to say sometimes I wanted a friendship to last waaaaay more than what my heart and mind could take.

BUT… It has taught me the type of friendships I do want in our lives.

When Theodore was born, I initially kept to myself and my family. We shared the great news with our friends, but kept all the struggles within the family. At this time I was learning the new me, and was not ready to share.

Now, I know with the great people in our life I could have shared everything, but it was I who needed to accept my new life and the ups and downs.

For some this can be easy and for others this can be hard…..but once I accepted this new life I began to understand our path as a family.

I began to open up, I began to realize who I trusted and who I wanted involved in our son’s life. When this occurred we decided that certain people and things are toxic and that we did not want that in our lives. We have taken this role very seriously, and some people continue to challenge the choices we have made, but they are OURS.

The people that we have chosen to be a part of our lives mean the world to us. Some of them we see everyday and others we may not even see or talk to but every few months. They have been supportive when we have needed it and they have been distant when they knew that we needed space.

When this would occurr, they waited for us and weren’t upset that we were absent because of the time we needed. This we are greatful for and cannot express how much this has meant to us during our new journey with Theodore.

In our friendships we do not support each other or love each other any less when there are struggles or ups and downs. During these times we know there needs to be more support, love and prayers.

These people in our lives give, take and respect the same values we hold dear. Honesty, trustworthiness, and love. Sometimes we are all are little too honest, a little too trusting, and give way too much love.

But….we all balance each other out. We trust each others words, listen with honesty and love each others individuality.

These are my people and most of them live all around the United States and soon to be all around the WORLD, and some have passed on but I speak to them often. Some are newer friends and others are old old friends, but we know our group of friends will continue to grow as our lives change.

Distance, is never an object with my people.

Although it hurts sometimes that I can’t wake up in the same house with them, walk down the road, swim in their pool, see them sitting next to me at work, or meet up with them for a mid-afternoon glass(bottle) of wine to cry or laugh it out……..I know they will always be my people. I know that they will always be my support team, good or bad. I know that they will love us unconditionally and too me, this means the world.

I pray and hope that everyone has the type of love and support that I have learned exists in my life. I hope that Theodore understands the value of the love and support he endures every single day of his life. I pray he recognizes his support team will grow as we share our story and to choose those who mean the best.

I will, Report to Duty, every single day to show and explain (the appropriate stories) to him on how WONDERFUL these people are in his life. Eventually, I will shine light on these people as he begins to recognize his perfect support team and I will teach him the value of true and honest friendships.

Until next time,

Reporting to Duty

xox