This year has been the longest, shortest -happiest and most sad year of my life.
This year has had days and nights that I thought would never end, but moments I wanted to last forevor. It has included more tears than I have ever cried in my entire life. A lot of the tears were happy but many, many of them were out of fear, frustration, sadness and anger.
On Sunday August 7th 2016 we were able to celebrate our Smart, handsome,strong willed, determined and funny little ONE year old boy.
But let’s recap…….
It all began on August 7th, 2015 at 6:27pm when our handsome baby boy Theodore Edward was born. After 12+ hours of laboring he was forced out via emergency c-section, because he was not breathing and heart rate had dropped.
We know and presume now, that he wasn’t strong enough to come out naturally. Not to say he didn’t have the will.
At the very moment he was born, I, as many mothers have experienced, became a changed person. Everything in my life that mattered before looked a bit different.
I knew at that moment it wasn’t about Keith and I, it was about our life as a family.
At home and thinking we knew and were ready for the hard work of parenting, we were oblivious to how hard it would become……
The constant crying and no sleeping started at the beginning. Then came not wanting to eat, screaming and projectile vomiting, then a great deal of weight loss……
From Theodore… Which was the wrong person to be losing weight.
Next came doctors apts and more doctors apts which nobody listened. Followed by two groin hernias, a different doctor and emergency pyloric stenosis surgery.
Following the surgery, he was still not gaining weight and continued to struggle. Our pediatrician, which diagnosed Theodore with GERD, acid reflux and milk protein intolerance was still not giving or searching for more answers.
They were done finding answers and We were DONE with them.
A simple eye appointment in Indiana led us to a pediatric neurological opthomologist, whom referred us to a genetic neurologist. Now 7 months, many hospital visits,tests, therapy sessions and doctors apts later we have a diagnosis and are on a path to understanding Theodore.
Yes, we have to be very careful with many, MANY things and we still don’t know a lot about his rare chromosome deletion, but we will get there. We will endure.
Many of our family and my own personal life goals have changed and been put on hold. It has been difficult for me to accept these changes, but I know and understand now maybe this is the direction my life was supposed to take.
Plus who said I can never go back to those goals or make different BIGGER goals……….#goaldigger
This years celebration for Theodore was small, exactly what we wanted and needed. It involved DIY decorations, immediate family with a nautical Mickey theme, the beach, a game which involved pinning the anchor on the ship, light up necklaces and ice cream cake. It was fantastic and Theodore enjoyed these special moments…. Ohhhhhh and his personal cupcake smash cake!!
We didn’t send out invitations, but reminders and a small token for our appreciation. The reminders were to share our excitement for his first birthday and to have everyone send their love and prayers. The gift was a thank you for all of their support. We don’t ask of anything more because we know that in the years to come, Theodore and our family will need these prayers and unconditional love.
We will continue to, Report to Duty, in working, fighting and celebrating Theodore. It won’t always be easy and may include some more fighting, tears and laughs, but I wouldn’t change or have it any other way!!
Until Next Time,
Reporting to Duty