I have had the opportunity to look up to some pretty great mothers in my life. They have taught me a great deal and have showed me unconditional love.
Before becoming a mother I knew I wanted to cherish these role models, and tools of motherhood. BUT…. I also knew I had to make my own rules and guidelines.
I have to think just two short years ago I was not even a mother. I had not been through the trudges of motherhood or knew what was coming to our life.
We were expecting but I had no clue how UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL our life would become.
I had no clue that you could love so much that it would hurt.
I had no clue how much responsibility it is to take care of such a tiny life.
I had no clue that no other job would be as gratifying as being Theodore and Oliver’s mother.
However, this has been the hardest most rewarding job and role I have ever done.
Some days it has been significantly lonely, and it has been many times thankless. I have bawled, screamed, ugly cried and cursed. I have fought depression, anxiety and have struggled with jealousy. I have felt alone, judged and hopeless. I have wanted more support and struggled with the WHY.
It is the scariest thing I have ever done being these boy’s mommy.
This job… being a MOTHER has changed who I am deep into my soul.
Although, it has been hard I wouldn’t change it for the world. I would not have it taken back and I am NOT giving up.
NOW…TWO years later……I like to think that I am an improved version of myself.
“MaMA” has been my most favorite role, job, title and life perspective.
I have apologize to all mother’s because I thought becoming a mother would be different. I didn’t necessarily think it would be easier, or more rewarding but different.
It is so sooooooo much more……
It is EVERYTHING.
Happy Mother’s Day to mother’s of all kinds.
I will be, Reporting to Duty, this Mother’s Day. I will be giving my boys some extra love and spending it knee deep in motherhood. I will be continuing to try to take more time and cherish the good with the bad. I will continue to take in the scent of their skin, the rhythm of their beating heart and the warmth of their hugs.
I will cherish motherhood.
CHEERS! I make a toast to you!! And do something great for yourself mother’s!!!
Until Next Time,
Reporting to Duty