Beach Life & The Complications 

As parents, everything we do takes time. Those who have children, more specifically small children, or children with special needs understand this task. 

Nothing, is easy anymore and even going to the bathroom could cause a meltdown.

This process never stops it becomes a part of everything you do, anywhere you go.

I think it gets easier.

It is that time of year again where the beach becomes our second home. 

The beach has always been a favorite spot of ours. I have been going since I was little and both the boys have been to the beach since they were just a few weeks old.

Taking a baby on the go and one toddler with special needs it is a great deal of work, but it still manages to be a special place. 

Nonetheless, is has had its moments.

When Theodore was a year old we had a beach incident. Although, we had been a million times he still managed to spice things up. 

This particular time he ended up in the sand face first, all because he wiggled out of his seat. He had sand in his mouth and throat. He was not breathing and barely responding.  

9-1-1 was called.

Finally, we were able to get the sand out and he came back to us. What was probably only a minute, felt like a bajillion and his life flashed before our eyes. 

These fearful things can happen right in front of you. It happened to us. We were simply setting up the umbrella and he decided he didn’t want to be in his seat anymore. Although, we were right there I know we weren’t fast enough. I know we could have done more. I know we could have been watching him closer.

Most children would have been able to get themselves out of this incident, but because Theodore was so small and weak he wasn’t able to save himself. 

I’m thankful we were there. I’m thankful we decided accidents happen. I’m thankful we continue to face our fears and head to the beach. 

I fear many incidents and daily tasks, but I can’t let my fear keep us from showing the boys the world. Although, I still have fear, I have a new found joy for the beach.

As if I didn’t love it before, I now have found it more special. It has become special because I see their joy. 

The boys have changed our beach routine.

Sometimes heading to the beach takes forever, and other times we work like a well oiled machine. Each of us has a job, we always pack everything including the kitchen sink……. BUT we love their excitement of the sand and the sea.

Both of them love the beach in their own ways.

This is good for my soul.

Oliver is everywhere, eating the sand, digging with his hands, nothing hold him down and this will continue as he grows.

Theodore loves the sand between his toes, and throwing his toys in the sand. He is now getting stronger and I trust him a little more around the sand, but I still fear. 

Oliver loves the rushing water on his bum and Theodore loves being in the waves. 

They both love the sound of the ocean and beach naps.

I am thankful I get to watch their joy grow. I am anticipating when they will start making their way down the beach and when they will begin exploring sea life in all its beauties. Sometimes, I wonder what this will look like for Theodore, but I have to stay hopeful his strength will come. 

I will, Report to Duty, in pushing aside fear and focusing on the joy. I will continue to take them to the beach and share this love. I will teach them and promote exploration. I will surpass my anxieties and I will show them the world. 

I hope you all can do the same. 

Until Next Time,

Reporting to Duty

Xox

 

 

That MOM Style…

That MOM Style….I know I am mixing it up a bit but I feel like I really need to touch on this topic. 

This photo taken about 4 months ago, when I was in the midst of baby madness and post-partum craze, and physically now where I wanted to be……BUT it shows the essence of  MOM Style. 

This photo is scary but true….

I see all these fantastic photos of instabloggers on social media….They are momstoo  and their houses are cleaned and in pristine condition, their closets are organized, they have perfectly curled hair, and they wear perfectly contoured make-up and most of them are always traveling with their littles. 

This isn’t real life….they have to have help… RIGHT?? 

OR…Am I the only one in the first few months after giving birth….heck even after…..that is falling apart with spit up and milk on my clothes and the only thing I got accomplished for the day, for myself was straightening my hair…

I am trying but I am sure that insta-perfect will never be me….

Before the boys were born I was a shopper, I liked my high priced staple items BUT also finding a deal. I would try to have several cute mix and match pieces. I was into watching and looking for what was “in” and then finding a way to make it my own. 

Most of the time I enjoyed being overdressed.

Since having the boys and having my body change and then change again, I was lacking style. And CONFIDENCE….

Plus the budget had to change. 

Well, ya know, because we are now buying clothes for two other people…and I LOVE baby clothes.

BUT…..

I mean Momma’s let’s get REAL……

We can’t call yoga pants/sweatpants and a Piko top ….style.

Nonetheless, that was my “uniform”.

For a while I felt unhealthy and lethargic. My style and myself wasn’t on the top of my priority list. I wasn’t sure why I had to wear something cute when I was just chauffeuring my son to therapy, running errands , going to doctors apts, and cleaning and organizing the house. 

But now I see how it affected my mood. 

Now that Theodore is 1 year, 9 months and Oliver is 8 months, I finally am beginning to find my “mom style”. It is more practical and subtle but I am beginning to have fun again. 

I am beginning to accept my imperfect, scared, blemished and YES cellulite body. I now just find pieces that help me feel comfortable in my own skin. 

I worry less about what is in style or on the runway, and focus more on what makes me feel beautiful. 

I still have my eye on this high priced items, but I either search for them on eBay or other shops where I can get them at a great discount. 

Most of the time I try to find items I love just at a great price. 

Sometimes, I find an item I love and buy it in EVERY color. I don’t fret as much anymore about the size but how it fits. Before children I may have been ashamed BUT now I DONT CARE.

If I think it’s cute, it fits and it is practical for therapy for Theodore and chasing two boys around………. I buy it.

I still wear many dresses and skirts, ( bc I really hate jeans) but they have to be more flowy and a bit longer. 

I still wear jewelry, but it has to be JUST RIGHT so I don’t scratch the boys. 

I still wear heels and wedges, but they have to be comfy and just not so high. 

I still love purses, but I have resorted to a big diaper bag and a wallet I LOVE!!! 

I still wear hats, but I know they may get ripped of by my boys. 

Now don’t get me wrong I still DONT wear make-up often, I cut my hair short because you won’t catch me curling it into loose waves, sometimes I forget deodorant, I put dry shampoo in my hair most days, converse are often a part of my outfit, I love  black yoga pants, I have clothes I still wear from high school, I repeat many outfits and sometimes still wear yoga pants and work-out clothes bc I feel to tired to change clothes. 

I will, Report to Duty, MOST days to put an outfit together. However, I will still have days that I wear comfy ill fitting clothes. From now on I will post my outfit and will always be open to recommendations. Style, shopping and clothes are things I find to be good for my sole and I want to be accountable more often. 

I have discovered that in this life I need to find things I enjoy more often and follow through with them MORE OFTEN. I hope you can do the same! 
Until Next Time,
Reporting to Duty
Xox

Happy Mother’s Day 

I have had the opportunity to look up to some pretty great mothers in my life. They have taught me a great deal and have showed me unconditional love. 

Before becoming a mother I knew I wanted to cherish these role models, and tools of motherhood. BUT…. I also knew I had to make my own rules and guidelines. 

I have to think just two short years ago I was not even a mother. I had not been through the trudges of motherhood or knew what was coming to our life. 

We were expecting but I had no clue how UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL our life would become. 

I had no clue that you could love so much that it would hurt. 

I had no clue how much responsibility it is to take care of such a tiny life. 

I had no clue that no other job would be as gratifying as being Theodore and Oliver’s  mother. 

However, this has been the hardest most rewarding job and role I have ever done. 

Some days it has been significantly lonely, and it has been many times thankless. I have bawled, screamed, ugly cried and cursed. I have fought depression, anxiety and have struggled with jealousy. I have felt alone, judged and hopeless. I have wanted more support and struggled with the WHY.

It is the scariest thing I have ever done being these boy’s mommy.

This job… being a MOTHER has changed who I am deep into my soul. 

Although, it has been hard I wouldn’t change it for the world. I would not have it taken back and I am NOT giving up. 

NOW…TWO years later……I like to think that I am an improved version of myself. 

“MaMA” has been my most favorite role, job, title and life perspective.

BUT….

I have apologize to all mother’s because I thought becoming a mother would be different. I didn’t necessarily think it would be easier, or more rewarding but different. 

BUT

It is so sooooooo much more……

It is EVERYTHING.
Happy Mother’s Day to mother’s of all kinds. 

I will be, Reporting to Duty, this Mother’s Day. I will be giving my boys some extra love and spending it knee deep in motherhood. I will be continuing to try to take more time and cherish the good with the bad. I will continue to take in the scent of their skin, the rhythm of their beating heart and the warmth of their hugs. 

I will cherish motherhood. 
CHEERS! I make a toast to you!! And do something great for yourself mother’s!!!
Until Next Time,
Reporting to Duty 
Xox

Through Theodore’s Eyes

Over 20 months ago our journey began, in part because we needed more answers to why he wouldn’t grab toys or why his eyes “shook”. 

We thought it was many many scary things but now we have more answers and are making progress towards better health and strength. 

On Thursday, we will take an aggressive step in helping Theodore view the world from another perspective. 

Theodore is having what is called as strabismus surgery to correct his gaze. He will continue to need glasses but the surgery will steady his eyes. 

We are hoping that once the surgery is completed that he will be more willing to turn his head to the left. Eventually, and HOPEFULLY it will help release him of his torticollis, and he will be able to physically do more.

They do believe the surgery will not change his prescription and he will continue to wear glasses for farsightedness and astigmatism. But they do believe is have MANY benefits for his concentration.

During the procedure an opthamologist, who specializes in strabismus, will go in to loosen the muscles in his eyes. This procedure will help control his nystagmus and help him so he can gaze forward. 

There are so many fine details to the surgery that I just try to focus on the point and the end perspective. 

We are hoping this procedure is just yet another advancement for Theodore. He has already come quite a ways and we are hoping for more growth after this procedure. 

The procedure is routine, but for any parent it is quite scary. I have been emotional about the procedure mainly because I pray he is strong enough and that he does well under anesthesia. 

He has been under many times but I don’t think it gets any easier. As a parent I fear many things. I worry about his strength, severe apnea, his asthma and well anything else I can find to worry about during the procedure. I know many of you have felt this stress and how it can be worrisome. 

I am going to Report to Duty and channel my stress and worry into strength. I will be strong for him. I will help him recover and give him love and support. I would appreciate if everybody could send love, prayers and good vibes. 

Thanks in advance and all our love!  
Until Next Time, 
Reporting to Duty
Xox

The Inevitable Laundry. 

Let us chat… about life. I love talking about my boys but……

I HATE laundry.    

Today is a post about how I extremely dislike laundry. 

Conflicting because I LOVE the smell of clean clothes. Love, love, love when my sheets are clean smelling a bit like bleach and laundry detergent. 

But I hate LAUNDRY. 

No, I am not speaking in code… I am talking about actual laundry. Not someone’s “dirty laundry” but the stuff that piles up in your bathroom, laundry room or bedroom. 

I will do anything.. clean toilets, dust, wash baseboards, do the dishes, take the Theodore to therapy a few times a week, run errands, wash the dogs, garden, go to Wal-Mart, etc etc ….

Yes……….Just to get out of the laundry. 

I know some think laundry is easy or soothing, but I HATE it. 

Everything about it makes me cringe, folding it, sorting it and putting it away is just too much.

I hate sorting it and ensuring all items are with like colors and similar fabrics… You know you don’t want to stick those towls with a lint seeking blouse. 

I hate when clothes are not right side out. It is so tedious to go through every piece and fix each item. 

I hate when I accidentally dry something that should have been hung….and well in my mind most of my clothes need hung dry. Sooo.. that is yet another step.

I hate when clothes are washed at night, left in the washer overnight and then smell….so those usually have to be washed again. I hate this. 

I hate folding it because some of the pieces are too tiny. 

I also hate folding it because some of the tiny pieces are wrinkly and then that makes me think about ironing… which I dislike MORE.

Instead of folding I try to hang everything and I DEFINITELY do not fold the unmentionables. Mine just get shoved in their specific drawer.

Thank the heavens above I have a husband that doesn’t mind the laundry. He knows I loathe laundry. He folds everything perfectly, he sorts it and sometimes I can even get him to put it away and………

Iron!! He will Iron anything anything ANYTHING!! 

It is great! 

I will sometimes HOLD OFF wearing it again if it needs ironed or I will try to give it a once over with my straightener….. 

YES… you heard me right I use my STRAIGHTENER so I don’t have to iron. 

It is fantastic and it works!! 

Give it a try sometime. 

However, I need to get better at laundry.

Well… because it piles up. 

Then it becomes even more overwhelming. 

Sometimes I bicker and it becomes a light argument. This happens when things are not found and what we want to wear is not clean. 

Annoying…

If only I was wealthy enough to have a service………but I am not. 

Even if I was I am not sure how I feel about a stranger washing my unmentionables.

 Hmmmmm…

So I need to get my butt in gear. I literally need to get over my annoyance. 

I hope I am not the only person out there that dislikes this process this greatly. Please tell me I am not alone. 

So my goal…..

Is to, Report to Duty in being better at laundry and all aspects of laundry. I need to have a more positive outlook. Luckily I don’t wash all my things all the time, but my husband washes everything all the time. P.s. I hate this too. I need to be more patient. I need to be more understanding of this treacherous task! Wish me luck or give me a shout out if you are in the same boat.

If so, good luck to you!!
Until Next Time,

Reporting to Duty

Xox