My Body and 2 Babies

Today I started to try on pre-pregnancy pants…..That was not smart!

It involved a lot of sighing, frustration, fear, sweating and maybe a few tears. Then I collected my crazy and talked myself out of these feelings.

I recognized that I needed time and pulled myself back to reality. Then threw on a dress.

In the last 24 months I have been pregnant for 18+ of those months!!!(yes I am a believer that pregnancy is longer than 9 months… for me I always go to 40+ weeks).

I am proud of my body and thankful for our two handsome, smart and wonderful boys.

Nonetheless, every part of my body has stretched, moved, relocated AND…..now I have a wonderful incision/scar on my lower belly that makes things even more tricky.

AND most of this transformation took about 9+months soooo………

WHY did I think I would fit into my pre-pregnancy pants just a week after giving birth…Well because I thought it was EXPECTED.

WHY did I get frustrated with myself because those pants didn’t fit….Well because I thought it was EXPECTED.

BUT…if it take 9+months to move itself, shouldn’t I have a little more than 1 week for it to move itself back????

In this world of social media and JUDGING we see celebrities, models and society tell us that we are supposed to fit in our pre-pregnancy pants immediately. When this doesn’t happen many of us feel sad, depressed and even frustrated.

BUT we must remember we are all different and fitting into those pants is not always realistic. (However, I am real proud of those who can)

As a mom of two I must be realistic with myself. I must understand that it is not realistic for ME to fit into all of my pre-pregnancy pants. Instead of calling my bigger pants, “fat pants” I should call them my “mom pants” and I SHOULD FEEL PROUD.

Personally….. I will skip pants all together and just wear dresses. 1. Because they are easier and more comfortable. 2. Because most of my dresses make me feel beautiful. 3. Most of them fit ME waaaaaaay better than my pants.

Wear and do what makes you feel comfortable. Set realistic goals. Have a plan. Don’t get overwhelmed and know you are beautiful. Splurge at times and LOVE YOURSELF. BE PROUD.

This is a topic that is often stressed about but something that I feel is not discussed from a healthy perspective.

From now on, I will, Report to Duty, in loving myself. I will try to love the NEW ME and I will work at getting to the BEST ME. I will appreciate my body for growing two unique, smart and handsome boys. I will promise not to try on my pre-pregnancy pants until I am actually ready.

My wish is for all mom’s, and new mom’s is to love yourself and be the best you. And…..for goodness sakes DO NOT try on the pre-pregnancy pants a week after giving birth.

Until Next time,

Reporting to Duty

xox

To Theodore, Our First Born.

In a little over a week you will no longer be an only child. Your short 13 month span as an only child is coming to an end. However, you will always be our first.

A little over 22 months ago we discovered you were on your way. Our prayer was answered quickly, and we fumbled around getting things together for your debut!

For those nine months I carried you, I prayed for your health and safety. I never really cared if you were a boy or girl, but that you would come into this world knowing you were loved.

The day you arrived was scary, stressful and tiring but when I first met you I knew you were special. These last 13 months have been the hardest and most gratifying months of my life.

You were the little boy that made me a mommy.

I thought I knew how the job was done, but I actually had no clue. It was you that showed me I could learn. You were patient when I needed some more time to figure things out and you understood I would eventually learn.

Also, before you came I was not a patient person (it was something I often prayed for). Often I still struggle, but it was you that showed me,at times, I can have the patience of a saint.

You showed me that I can have more than one goal path and that surprises come in all forms. You taught me that I am to always trust my instincts, that your kisses can heal my pain and that breathing isn’t the same without you in this world.

When you came into this world I did my hair less, rarely wore makeup, shopped less, and wore yoga pants more, but you taught me a great deal. Scared and worried in the beginning about motherhood and change, I now understand the old me could have NEVER handled this past year.

You showed me the world from yet another perspective. You helped me grow…….

I worry about these next couple months because, I don’t want you to feel neglected or left behind. I am expecting this to be different and I pray you are resilient( as we have seen time and time again).

I know you will be the best big brother and you will continue to teach us all. You are unique and rare and we are greatfull to have you as our first born.

Please be patient with us my dear first born son, and know I will always be greatfull to you.

Things may never be perfect, but together we have formed the perfect team. I will love you more than you will ever know. I will, Report to Duty, EVERYDAY to be your mother. I will try to teach you all I know and allow you to prosper. Things will never be perfect, I may struggle, but I will try my hardest.

You will always be my first and that will always be special.

I love you to infinity and beyond Theodore.
Until Next Time,

Reporting to Duty (your mommy)

Xox

Preparing…

Getting ready for Baby Miller #2 has been anything BUT whimsical. Part of the reason why I have been MIA.

After vacation and Theodore’s first birthday we all came home to North Carolina and hit the ground running. My husband and I were making a good pace, but Theodore decided, yet again, to take his own.

This causing my “plan” to be off schedule. You would think, by now, that I would understand planning is a recipe for disaster…..but I never follow suit.

So instead of getting things ready we have spent countless minutes and hours trying to understand Theodore’s feeding.

To catch you up…

Before Theodore turned a year old Keith, I and Theodore’s team of doctors decided that we would keep him on formula to continue giving him the extra nutrients. Nonetheless, we would switch from him infant sensitive formula to toddler formula.

Initially we tried a standard formula and he was eating it but you could tell it wasn’t his favorite. Then he quit drinking, all together. So we started trying all types of toddler formula. NONE I mean NONE were suiting him.

We went to the doctor in fear of teething, ear ache or any other answer….. And well…..we received the diagnosis of possible continued milk protein intolerance and STUBBORNNESS!!

They were worried because he has not gained any weight but has grown pretty much 2 inches in less than a months. Soooo…. The mystery continues and he needs to be drinking, drinking, DRINKING!!!
A few days in and no drinking/fluids we tried giving him his old infant formula! It didnt work initially and we had to find another avanue. So….. while we feed him his old formula and we massage his jaw while he eats!! He has since been drinking but you have to hold his jaw.

i did this on a fluke and it WORKED!!

Weird, right???

After googling it we found that is is not as rare as we think. Some babies jaws hurt while they are teething and with Theodore’s low muscle tone it is causing him more stress on his jaw.

Because of this and it being weird we still are going to find further consultation. Let’s all pray for answers.

So now, in the midst of figuring Theodore out I started deep cleaning and I finally have finished some hospital packing….although a great deal of laundry needs to be completed…..any takers????

Since we have two weeks until the due date we all……

We are trying to remain calm and continue our daily lives. This includes getting Theodore signed up for therapy in NC, getting the room ready for the baby(crafting, DIYing, organizing) making sure we have the proper baby items in the house and continuing with all doctors apts.

I am fearful of the change that the new baby may bring to Theodore. However, I have to keep an open mind and know this is the plan that was chosen for us.

Now we will, Report to Duty, in settling back in and getting ready for the baby! We also will continue to encourage growth for Theodore.

Until Next time,

Reporting to Duty
Xox